Thursday, March 18, 2010

Sweet Surrender (48/90)

I've been unable to fight my sleep lately.

Which is a good thing. Although it's almost 2 a.m. now and I'm awake only because I'm worried about all of the work I've got to finish up. For the past two nights I've been working on all of the assignments I didn't get to over break,  searching magazines for a new blog series, scanning pictures and studying for tests.

But,  long before I should be done for the night I get sleepy. At a normal hour, not the insomniac hour that I'm used to falling asleep in. And when I'm smart, I surrender and leave loose ends for the sake of my body.

I can't remember exactly when the shift began, but it's been shifting for a little while. A welcome respite from long, empty, restless nights. I've started sleeping earlier, and through the night. When I was in Tampa over  break there were many a nights that I went to bed early; 10:00, 10:30 just because I was tired, which normally isn't reason enough for me.

I've never been a good sleeper, as confirmed by my friends after a late dinner out. They just shook their head at me, when at 1 a.m. they were going home to sleep and I was going home to write and find something to work on for four more hours.

But, the insomnia is calm now, coming only ever so often instead of night after sleepless night. I'm thankful for that, and scared to ruin it by pushing my body too hard and too long and falling back into the same vicious cycle.

And now, my eyelids are getting heavy, and instead of fighting, I'll let them close slowly over this night, leaving loose ends all around me.

Because this is not a fight worth fighting.


Brad King said...

One of the many benefits of writing is your head gets emptier :) Exercise fatigues the body. The two together are a recipe for normality for writing freaks.

You will try, over the years, to do one or the other. You will get busy and you will neglect one or the other.

And always you will find the simple solution to life is write and run :)

Tiffany Holbert said...

That is so true. I think my head is emptier than it's been in a long while! But, because I hate running with a passion my life plan may just have to be writing and kickboxing :)

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